“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
– E.E. Cummings
I didn’t feel very confident growing up. I dreamt of being confident like Zena, soaring through the air, but in real life, I felt unsure of myself, doubted what I felt mattered and generally tried to avoid taking up too much space.
I thought being confident meant I always did the right thing and was able to prove I knew what I was doing. I tried to convince everyone, but that never made me feel confident, just more insecure. No matter what I did, I never felt I could convince anyone, let alone myself. I was clueless, but I wanted to figure out how to be more confident!
Over the years, I discovered five keys that unlock confidence, only recently discovering the last key while I was in Australia earlier this year. Embracing these keys has increased the trust I have in myself and created confidence from the inside. I no longer feel I have to prove myself to other’s because I finally believed in myself.
Confidence means to be able to confide in oneself. To trust yourself. Here are the 5 keys you need to be able to do that.
The 5 keys to Unlocking Your Confidence
Be present
How many times do you go through your day and can’t recall what happened? What the person you just talked to said, what you had for breakfast that morning, or how you got home? We’ve all done it! This is just a reflection of how often you check out and aren’t present during the day. When you aren’t present, others end up making your choices for you, which can leave you feeling like a victim to your life. This erodes your confidence in your ability over the choices you make in your life. The more you are present, the more you will see the vast amount of choices you can make and the power you have to make them.
Be vulnerable
Are you being honest with how you are feeling? Do you try to hide that something hurt you or minimize your enjoyment? Your feelings are a result of what you are experiencing in your life. If you don’t pay attention to them, then you are cutting off the power of your experience in the moment. This doesn’t mean reacting to how you feel but allowing your emotions to inform you about your truth in the present moment and be honest with yourself and others about where you are at. This builds trust in yourself and with other people. The more you allow yourself to trust your experience, the more you will feel confident about where you are.
Be Intentional
What do you want? Get honest with yourself on what you want to create and commit to taking the action to get there. Sometimes this can mean taking the bumpy path and going against the grain of what other people may expect from you. Get clear on what you intend for your life and commit to that vision unapologetically. When you lose focus and compromise or lose touch with your intention, you create inconsistency. This creates doubt in your ability to create what you want. The more intentional you are about what you want to create, the clearer you will be on the actions you need to take and you will build confidence in yourself that you can achieve you desires.
Be Loving
The greatest things in life come from co-creation, where from different perspectives, experiences and expectations something new is born! It is easy to be loving when things are going the way we expect them to but requires practice and skill when you hit a bump in the road. We get to co-create with those around us, and this requires love. Love is realizing we are all in this together and doing the best we can. When other’s intentions, experiences and feeling don’t match yours this is when things can heat up, but it is also where the magic is because that diversity is what makes you stronger. The key to confidence is to know that you don’t have to have all the answers and know your voice matters. Adding diverse voices will only make your creation better.
Be Authentic
How often do you ask for what you want without compromising or editing it? Let your heart desire what you want, just because you want it. If you can’t honor you hearts desires who can? Take note how often you try to smooth out the edges of your desires or change them for other people to “be nice”. This not only erodes your confidence in what you believe you can have, it also undermines your ability to create what you want! Many times, you don’t get what you say you want because you don’t really want it. To build confidence, you need to mean what you say, and say what you mean, otherwise you won’t know what to believe and neither will anyone else. Once you allow yourself to want freely, you will be able to see the power you have to create it.
It’s a practice
I am not always perfect with these, but it is my commitment to get better because I know who I am, and what I want matters, whether I do it consciously or not.
To practice this, add Lion’s Pose to your practice and experience more confidence to your life! You can check out how to do this pose HERE.
Not sure how to incorporate these keys in your life? Book a call with me and let’s figure it out.
