Recently I’ve been moving through some hard things (I’ll share more once I’ve done my healing & integration work) and I noticed I started putting my pleasure practice last on my list.  When I get overwhelmed, subconsciously I want to avoid it because my little girl feels powerless to change it, so I try to convince myself it is okay and keep myself busy so I don’t have time to realize it.  

Have you ever done this?

It’s a protection mechanism that doesn’t serve me, so when I see it playing out, I know I am in for a big shift if I consciously choose to look at what I am hiding from and take time to tap into my pleasure.  Because to move into pleasure, you have to clear the hard things from your nervous system.  It sounds super complicated, but really all you need to do is commit to your pleasure practice to shift it.  This space is what is called your pleasure threshold.  It’s the point at which you stop believing you can have more pleasure so unconsciously you push it away.

Maybe it looks like only allowing yourself so much foreplay before you start worrying that your taking too long

Or maybe it looks like putting your self-care last on your priority list or not taking as much self-care as you truly need.

Or you don’t trust your natural rhythms so you push through to match an artificial pace. 

It’s telling yourself stories of being too much or that you’re unworthy. Or making your experience wrong.

The point this happens is unique for everyone and it’s based on your particular experience and beliefs.  But the good news is that if it is a learned limit, you can unlearn it!  Here’s a tool I use whenever I notice I am starting to reach my upper limit.  This practice will allow you to learn how to increase the amount of energy your body can hold so you can hold more and have space for more pleasure.

Breathwork Practice

breath retention

We have been trained to expel our energy out into the world, instead of retaining it for ourselves.  We get to reverse this and the best way to do this is to incorporate practices in your life that show you how to hold onto your energy to nourish your body, mind and soul. 

A great practice that shows you how to increase your capacity to hold more life force energy is breath retention*

That’s because your breath is life force energy!  The more life force energy you can hold, the higher your pleasure threshold will be.

Give it a try.

First, find a comfortable place to sit or lay down and start breathing in and out normally.

After a few breaths start to slow down your breathing down by counting your inhales and exhales.  If you’re new to this you can start with a count of 4, working your way up to eight.

Inhale  1 – 2 – 3 – 4

Exhale 1 – 2 – 3 – 4

Do this a few times then on your next inhale take a deep inhale and keep the energy in your body as long as you can and notice how your body responds.

Do you want to exhale right away?

Does your inhale slowly escape from your body?

Or are you straining to keep your breath in?

Notice your experience without judgment, if this is a challenge it doesn’t mean you are doing it wrong, it will get better with practice, it is just showing you your current relationship with life.

Your inhales bring life into your body

Your exhales represent death in your body

The more life force energy you can hold, the more pleasure you will experience.

*Please don’t practice breathwork if you’re pregnant or have been diagnosed with a medical condition without consulting your health care professional.

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