Growing up I felt that my sexuality was a liability.  Female sexuality was displayed to me as a force that manipulated men and if I didn’t want to be manipulative, which I didn’t, I would need to hide it & control it.  I felt guilty for loving sex & like most of us didn’t see my sexuality as power.

I felt like I was just going through the motions in my life, my relationship & during sex.  I knew what was expected of me and would do my best to perform, which always seemed to fall short.  My life was okay, but not really what I wanted.  My relationships were okay to crappy and I never felt completely seen or understood.  Sex was okay, it felt good, but I was focused more on my partner’s pleasure than my own, and I was always left wishing they could go deeper.  

Isn’t this supposed to be different?  Isn’t sex supposed to feel connecting, earth shattering & illuminating?  This is how we create, express, and love.  Sex is creative magic that transforms lead into gold?  For me creating people came naturally, could I also create the rest of  my life in the same way? This was the start of tapping into my sexual power as a spiritual practice and learning how to trust my pleasure and manifest my desires with it.

I remember when I started my self pleasure practice, I had mixed feelings about it.  I wanted to discover my creative essence, but In the beginning it felt self indulgent.  I had to reconcile this view of self pleasure as a spiritual practice that would connect me to my divine nature and this part of myself that wanted to dismiss this practice as just masturbation and self gratification.

Many people confuse self-pleasure with masturbation.  This is because we’ve been conditioned to not see sex as just physical sensations not a bioelectrical reaction that alchemizes your body and soul.  To create a  self pleasure practice you need to not only focus on the physical sensations of pleasure, but also the mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects as well.  If you only focus on masturbation you are going to miss out on the magic of a self pleasure practice.  

Here are three things you need to make sure you include if you want to create a self pleasure practice that heals and expands as well as pleases.

Intention

What do you want to focus on during your practice?  Why are you doing it?  Pleasure is always a part of it, but it isn’t the only part.  Do you want to notice how your body responds to certain things?  Do you want to discover how you feel about sex?  Reveal your attitudes and beliefs?  Your intention is everything.  What you focus on grows.

Acceptance

Allow yourself to be present with whatever emerges, even if it isn’t what you expected.  Do you feel numb, are you zoning out?  What emotions surface?  Do you allow yourself to explore them?  How does pleasure flow through your body?  Being present with what goes on in your body gives you power to appreciate your experience.  Your experience is never wrong.

Awareness

How is your body communicating with you?  What patterns emerge?  Is your body tensing or opening?  Building awareness of how your body responds connects you to your intuition and creates wisdom about what is right for you.

Which one (or all three) are you going to start including in your self pleasure practice?  Leave a comment bleow and let me know!

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